*** This article was originally posted on Dirty + Thirty ***
4 Lessons Learned from Jersey Boys
The new movie Jersey Boys comes out this weekend. In a name-dropping nutshell, it’s Clint Eastwood’s film adaptation of the Tony Award-winning Broadway musical that is based on the life story of the 1960’s mega boy band the Four Seasons. Even if you’ve never heard of the Four Seasons or its lead singer, Frankie Valli, you have definitely heard the music: “Big Girls Don’t Cry”, “Walk Like A Man”, and, of course, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”.
The story isn’t exactly new, especially if you’ve already seen the musical. It’s the kind of musical drama biography that makes all us non-famous folk so happy (for a minute) to not have fame, millions in the bank, and the millions of personal problems that seem to come with that package.
But there are some interesting life lessons that can be taken away from the film, especially considering Frankie Valli is still alive and well, and served as the movie’s executive producer alongside writing partner and band member Bob Gaudio.
The major theme of the first quarter of the film is that, sure, Frankie Valli has something unique in that falsetto of his, but he must, must, must work at it. His friends risk life and limb – literally, they are in mob country – for little Frankie to work on his vocal lessons and perform on stage. Even when the band gets a record deal, albeit singing back up, it is up to them to create their own hits.
Many critics of our millennial ADD generation say that we aren’t willing to put in the hard work, that we expect things to fall in our lap simply because our parents told us we were special as kids.
And while I always scoffed at that notion, if this film has any truth on what the older generation of wannabe-entertainers went through, it seems they are right. You must work relentlessly at your craft and create your own luck; only then will your talent be recognized.
SPOILER ALERT: The Four Seasons break up. Well, technically, one member quits and one member is kicked out. This left lead singer Frankie Valli and songwriting member Bob Gaudio left… with A LOT of debt. We’re talking a nearly one million dollar debt in 1970. Adjusting for inflation, this means he was in six million over his head. Ouch.
Instead of calling it quits, the duo of Valli and Gaudio put their heads down and started to get to work on the big vision: a full band behind Valli. That vision was eventually realized with the revolutionary hit single, and now classic, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”.
A few years ago, when faced with a setback, a friend of mine told me to look at it as a “happy mistake”. He was right. We scrambled to put together a Plan B, which ended up being ten times better than Plan A.
Sometimes things don’t fall into place so that you can regroup and improve on the initial vision. It’s a great motto to have in your head when a challenge comes your way. 
3. Pick The Fight Before It Turns Into One
Confrontation is a deeply unsettling aspect of human culture. How we deal with it – or don’t – can have major ripple effects on our life trajectory.
In Jersey Boys, Nick Massi leaves the group due to his inability to resolve conflicts. For 10 years, he bunked with a disrespectful band member and 10 years of that resentment came out in one discussion. He had enough. He resolved the conflict on his own by quitting, instead of resolving it with diplomacy, which was what the other band members wanted.
How many times have we avoided telling someone that their small action annoyed us, and then eventually it snowballed into an argument involving “everything but the kitchen sink”? Small issues can be resolved when they’re small. It’s harder when there’s days, weeks, months, or in this case, years of emotional baggage attached to them. 
4. Life is About The Journey- And Usually the Beginning’s The Most Fun
In the film’s conclusion, the original members are asked the best part of being in a legendary musical group. Lead singer Frankie Valli experienced the full scope of this rockstar lifestyle. Think of him as the Justin Timberlake of the group, but with a lot more drama and failed relationships. But what he said was very interesting.
“The best memory was singing on the street corner, when it was all ahead of us.”
This is not a direct quote, but the gist of what my brain remembers from the screening.
The quote struck me. And still does as I write this. As someone who is very much in the middle of my journey, and feeling the pains and struggles of trying to achieve something bigger than where I come from, I have always hoped that success would be the best part.
That’s not what Valli says. The best part is the beginning. It’s the moment we take action and realize the dream can be a reality. It’s the moment when we realize we’re on the right path.
While I hope that my version of success is a bit happier than Valli’s reality, it’s an interesting quote to keep in your back pocket when times get hard. From someone who’s been there, Valli concurs that you will indeed look back and laugh.
Jersey Boys comes out nationwide Friday June 20th.
