How to Survive the Mayan Apocalypse

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Today is 12-12-12. It’s kind of a big deal – well, on Facebook- because it’s the last triple date we will experience. And if you believe the doomsday people, that’s because the world is going to END in nine freaking days!

I don’t believe the world is going to end. I already bought really expensive plane tickets to Chicago and Orlando to MC my best friend’s wedding and that investment is not going to go to waste. I will make certain of it.

Fotor052915064BUT other people have travel plans to go “survive” the apocalypse. No, I’m not making this up.

 
According to this HuffPo article, the place to go to survive the Mayan Apocalypse is Bugarach in Southern France. A UFO allegedly made a pit stop there and lodged itself into the mountain. On 12-21-12, people believe the aliens will wake up, pick up a few humans, before “zipping off” to a less destroyed planet. Can you spot the alien?

If living out the apocalypse on bordeaux and fine cheese while everyone else is dying sounds kinda lame to you, there is a second destination! Sirince, Turkey, near the ancient city of Ephesus. I’ve actually been to Ephesus and all that survived of the Temple of Artemis, one of the ancient Seven Wonders of the World, is one hodgepodge of a column. Fotor0529152359Literally, it’s one giant column that’s made up of all the remains of what would have been hundreds. Which begs the question, if a column can’t stand the test of time, how will flesh survive the apocalypse?

Well, the Virgin Mary went into exile there after Jesus’ death and ascended to heaven, giving Sirince some good vibes to survive the end of the world. I also went to the Virgin Mary’s house and didn’t feel any especially good vibes, which maybe says that I am doomed.

All doomsday things considered, these are two lovely places to visit. Especially if it’s your last visit on Earth! MUHAHAHAHA. Just kidding, we’re totally going to be fine.

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